#hes saying nothing significant about quirk society PERIOD

[crying-adamantium]

I cant believe horikoshi did all that and still said nothing significant about family violence in quirk society

[linkspooky]

Spinner, Shigaraki - Two NEETS

Shigaraki has a deep personal bond with everyone in the league. Not only that, but he also directly foils each one of its members. Shigaraki and Spinner are two characters whose bond developed onscreen over the course of the My Villain Academia arc, with Spinner turning from the one questioning Shigaraki the most into his biggest fanboy. While Spinner may now devote himself to Shigaraki, the two of them are actually incredibly alike and their relationship is much more akin to equals then leader and subordinate. Let’s explore this unique relationsip some more under the cut. 

1. The Outsiders

All of the members of the league are outcasts to some extent, but Shigaraki and Spinner manfiest their position as the outsider in the same way. They were both NEETS who shut themselves out from the world for a significant period of time in their life. 

As Caleb Cook official translator for the series said, NEET/hikkokomori living space is pretty strong shorthand for a young adult with no control over their own lives. Shigaraki lines his room with newpspaper articles, figures of heroes, games, and Spinner’s room is entirely games and a tv screen to distract himself. 

They both live completely cut off to the outside world, because they both know the outside world is not welcoming for people like them. For both of them the reason why they are not welcome is because of the quirks they were born with, nothing about who they were as people, or the choices they made when they were young, they were already ostracized just by the quirks they were born with before anything else. Due to this fact, they grew up isolated by their quirks and their quirks began to define their entire lives. They did not get to decide who they were because everybody else had already decided for them.

Not only are they both victims, they’re both ugly victims. They are the people who society overlook specifically because the way they manifest their victimhood is not pretty at all, the type that society would never save. They also both represent a kind of quirk discrimmination. Spinner is discrimminated against for having a mutant quirk, and also for having a weak quirk. Shimura Tenko was just a child, but he was discrimminated against for having a dangerous quirk, and also being physically ugly and looking damaged after he killed his family which made it so that no one came to save him. 

They are both the types of people that heroes would never save. NEETs are the most common example of people who fall through the cracks and fail to acclimate to society in japan. Shigaraki and Spinner, wherever they go will be outsiders. The only perspective they have is that of an outsider. Which is why they both manifest the signs of their isolation from other people in the same ways.

They both primarily engage in the world through gamerspeak. That is, they use video game terminology when addressing reality. This is because for both of them fiction is a coping and escapism method that helps them deal with reality. It also further distances them away from it, if they think of everything in terms of games then things start to make sense to them. 

They’re also both empty fanboys. Shigaraki will praise heroes for how cool they are being, he keeps figures of several of them on his shelves, Spinner admits that he’s nothing more than just a hollow cosplayer. His primary weapon of using a bunch of knives stuck together in a sword was basically just there because it looked cool with no functional purpose at all. 

They’re both so disengaged from the world that they both drown themselves in empty fiction. Their coping mechanism is the same, there’s nothing for them in the world, and no one who wants them, they live lives completely detached from everyone else, so they isolate themselves further. 

However, their isolation just leaves them feeling empty in the end even if it’s to protect themselves. Shigaraki and Spinner are both characterized by their emptiness. 

2. The View From the Outside

Neither Shigaraki nor Spinner can see what’s so great about the world because neither of them were ever included in the world in the first place. There’s nothing for either of them in the outside world.

Shigaraki doesn’t just want to destroy everything because he’s an edgy and angry child. He wants to destroy it because he can see the outside society and knows that he’s never going to be included in it. Spending time with friends, being loved as a child, laughing together with people, buying flowers for a loved one, Shigaraki was never going to experience any of those things, he was excluded from the start. That is why he resents. That is why everything bothers him. Because everything reminds him that he’s not a part of this world, he will forever be an outsider. 

This is why Spinner sympathizes with Shigaraki so much. Why his words that sound like utter nonsense (let’s just blow everything up then it’ll be beautiful) make sense on a personal, and emotional level to Spinner. It’s because Spinner experiences those feelings too. They are excluded from everything and because of that they are empty. 

They also both seek out personal connections to fill that emptiness. Shigaraki says he hates everyone in the world, but he clearly cares about the league. Spinner doesn’t actually care about Stain’s ideals at all, he just got invested in the idea that there was someone who was trying to do something with their life, that there’s someone who was something other than empty.

Spinner sees himself as inferior as an individual. He’s accepted the idea that he’s no good, he’s internalized what people have called him and bullied him for all of his life. He was a NEET who did nothing to change his circumstances, he just played games all day, and Spinner views himself as pathetic for coping in that way, for not being able to stand on his own two feet.

Which is why he’s so inspired by people who are able to move on their own. Spinner is not able to do anything for himself, but he’s able to move for other people. That’s why he comes to value Shigaraki as a person, because he comes to realize that just like him, his heart is empty too, and Shigaraki is constantly fighting against those feelings.

The only difference between them is how they deal with their emptiness. Shigaraki self destructs. What he really seeks is an escape from this emptiness. That’s why he tries so hard to destroy everything, himself included. He’s been convinced if he just breaks it all, then maybe the feeling might go away. 

Spinner is his opposite. If Shigaraki is trying to make all of his wounds worse, and let them fester and rot, then Spinner is desperately trying to heal and find a way to live. Spinner decides to live for other people, trying to fill himself up with their desires, because he can no longer desire anything for himself. He cannot fight on his own so he fights for them. While still not an ideal solution because Spinner is still left feeling inferior to others, and less important, it still makes Spinner someone Shigaraki needs.

Because Shigaraki needs to be shown a way to live with his emptiness. He needs someone who wants to heal the same way spinner does. Not only that but Spinner wants to heal Shigaraki, he wants to live to lighten the burden on Shigaraki just a little bit. It’s something Shigaraki needs to learn, that the people around him don’t want him to self destruct, that he can’t just destroy everything and disappear leaving them behind. Spinner’s connection to Shigaraki is something that could very well show him how to live. 

[terselylove]

50 Ways To Be A Better Boyfriend

1. I may hang out with your friends like one of the guys or play video games like one of the guys, but I am not one of the guys. I am your girlfriend. Give me attention outside of hanging with your friends, do things with me other than what you like to do with your friends, and spend quality time with me away from your friends. Not as a special treat, not as a holiday surprise, but as a normal part of our relationship.

2. If she’s complaining, or venting, it’s not always because she wants advice or a solution. Sometimes all that’s needed is to vent. So, in those situations, just let her vent.

3. Do not forget to tell your girlfriend she’s beautiful. I feel like so many guys forget to do this. Specially after they’ve been with a girl for a while. Girls love to be reminded that you’re still attracted to them. It goes a long way and it’ll always make her happy.

4. Plan out unique dates! Don’t leave it all up to her. And offer back rubs without wanting anything in return.

5. Know where the clitoris is, and how your partner likes hers to be simulated. Remember that MOST women do not get off through vaginal penetration.

6. Explain how you feel. We want to know what you’re feeling.

7. A “how are you?” text and a “thinking about you!” text etc goes a long way!

8. Hugs and affection with no ulterior motive. Sometimes I like to be held with out feeling like he’s wanting to fuck me.

9. Learn to cook. Not just one very slow to prepare meal. Learn to cook decent meals that can be prepared “normally” during a weekday. Learn to cook without making the kitchen look like a war zone.

10. Do your share of household chores. Don’t ask or expect a medal for doing household chores once or twice. It is a routine. Just own the task and keep doing it. Remember that since you are doing something it is easy for you to remember you did it and that this makes you overestimate the amount of chores you are being responsible for.

11. You guys should be a team, not just you. This helps in arguments. Remind yourself you are a team and that you shouldn’t bring your own teammate down.

12. Pay attention to what she says and remember the little things.

13. GENUINE COMPLIMENTS theres been so many times I get especially dressed up thinking “my boyfriend is going to think I look nice!” and then I see him and he doesn’t compliment me! Even when I know I look good because other guys hit on me, it would be nice if my boyfriend could hit on me for once.

14. Just keep your girl up to date on things if you’re having a busy day. It keeps them less worried and making sure you are safe.

15. When I ask you what do you want me to cook for dinner, please don’t say “I don’t know!” Sometimes men can be as bad as women are portrayed when deciding what to eat!

16. Pay attention when she is talking. Active listening. Don’t be on your phone when out to dinner. Communication. Honesty. And yes pay attention to the little things. Do what you say your going to do. Share your interests. Be authentic.

17. Biggest thing for me is to just do what you say you’re going to do. Nothing more, nothing less.

18. Be honest about how you feel about literally everything instead of allowing small things to build up resentment in your heart and then break up over something small. Like just be honest if something she does like a quirk bothers you, communicate what you like and don’t like so she can have the chance to at least compromise or adjust. And then if she doesn’t care for your feelings you can break up. Way too often men don’t communicate and expect us to read their minds, then say they fell out of love over some petty crap.

19. Think for yourselves. Don’t relay on your partner to carry the mental load. Wash basket GETTING full? Do some washing then get it dry and then put it away. Your partner shouldn’t be directing you to do everyday chores. You should see it needs doing and do it. You shouldn’t have to ask if your partner needs help with the cleaning, you should be doing it together. It’s called being a team.

This works both ways obviously.

20. Don’t compliment them by saying things like ‘you look so much better in that dress that other girl ever would’ – compliment them without making them feel like they are being constantly compared (even if they do come out on top).

21. Remember that women like to orgasm too!

22. Learn their love language, I would say. What makes them feel most appreciated or most loved? Not every girl wants the same thing (as is evident in this thread) but it comes down to one of the big 5. Words of affirmation, physical touch, gift giving, acts of service/devotion, or quality time.

23. Don’t make her feel like your mom.

A lot of guys I know say something to the effect of, “If you just ask I’ll do the dishes/put laundry away, etc.”

Well we don’t want to be your mom and make you do these things. Rather when you notice something needs to be done, do it. Trust me, we will notice!

24. If she asks you to stop doing something or do something more, LISTEN. Even if you don’t agree, compromise on something you both can work with.

25. Honestly, get excitable. Nothing kills a conversation like when a man tries to look cool and not geek out when they want to. Seeing a dude get excited over their interests is adorable

26. Affirm your affection for them by saying nice things, or qualities you like about them. “You’re so….” “I love that you do that.” Anything that shows your reassurance that they are the best.

27. If you’re getting irritated with us, please calmly explain why. Or if we are trying to bring up what’s bothering us, please don’t get defensive and then flip the blame on us. Otherwise, it makes us feel like we’re just a nuisance to you. I get that communication is a learned skill that requires experience. In short- encouraging & practicing open, honest, and respectful communication on both sides.

28. Don’t lie or hide things from her. She knows, she always knows because she knows you so well she can tell when you are being shifty. Just be open and honest and vulnerable. She will love you the more for it.

29. When you’re in the store, don’t call and ask what to bring. Hopefully you have paid attention and know what she likes/what the household needs and just bring that. Or google a recipe and buy the ingredients. Maybe shoot a text and say “I think I’ve got it covered, but here’s your chance for requests, I’m in the store”. Be pro-active, don’t force her into supervisor mode constantly.

30. The #1 thing all successful healthy relationships need is mutual respect. Do some research on what it’s like to live in society as a woman and make sure you’re not contributing to how hard it can be.

31. Don’t mention exes.

32. Date someone you’re happy with and don’t have to make “better.” If you need something, communicate what you need. If someone is doing something that bothers you, let them know in a kind way and include a solution that could work for both of you. If you want something done by the other person, let them know your time frame up front. For example, can you please do the dishes before I get home from work today, I want to have an empty sink when I cook dinner tonight. Not just do the dishes.

33. Don’t laugh when I’m frustrated no matter how “cute” it is.

34. Cut your goddamn nails my dudes you don’t need mountain peaks at the tips of your fingers.

35. I’m a big believer in equity theory. Do as much for her as she does for you! If you don’t she’ll end up feeling unappreciated, unassured, and questioning why she’s with someone who doesn’t put in the same as she does. Even recognition, a thank you, and some flowers goes a long way. But it’s still important to show how much you care about her in your actions.

36. My husband sends me little gifs online when he sees one that he thinks I’d like. It always makes me smile because he was thinking about me enough to find something I’d smile at and send it.

37. We don’t always need you fixing solutions, sometimes we want to be heard and vent.

38. Don’t put women in a box. Men tend to compartmentalize things and have figurative boxes in their heads in which they keep all the things in their life. That’s great, but not for relationships. You can’t take your significant other out of that box and play with them only when you want to. You always need to be there for your gf and sometimes that means making time when you weren’t expecting her to need you.

39. Don’t tell her what to do, she is her own person. Don’t try to control her. Be supportive of her dreams and aspirations (even if you don’t necessarily agree with them).

40. This could go either way, but reciprocate everything. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your S.O doing.

41. Randomly say “I love you”. No context, no nothing, just say it.

42. Take her seriously when she talks about her health. And if she needs to go to a hospital and allows you to come along, be prepared to advocate for her.

43. My grandpa thanked my grandma for the delicious meal after every. Single. Meal. that she cooked for him.

Don’t get so used to your partner that you stop noticing and showing gratitude for the lovely things they do for you.

44. If a woman is in a bad mood – NEVER – I repeat – NEEEEEEVER ask if she’s got her period!

45. Stop caring about your looks and just try to be more hygienic. For real you people care too much about how you look and you smell awful.

46. Don’t fucking cheat.

47. Affirmations and validation work well.

48. Communicate instead of yelling. I have made a pact with myself to never be with a person ever again who doesn’t make an effort to communicate with me. It’s paid off immensely and I’m super happy with a wonderful man now who I never argue with, when all my previous relationships were torrentially toxic and abusive. I’m not saying not arguing ever is normal, but it definitely isn’t normal when people yell and cuss as a communicative norm.

49. Just take a moment to reflect on what conversations you’re having and what you’re bringing to them. I know there’s this idea that your partner is the person you can vent to but is that all you’re doing? Try to be mindful that your partner also has difficult times; are you as available to listen to them as they are for you? Do all (or even most) of your conversations turn into a back and forth of complaints about work/traffic/etc.? Are those complaints really worth the time you’re dedicating to them?

I recently suggested to my boyfriend that, hey, let’s make the bed a no-complaining zone. I brought it up because every single night I would find myself just laying in the dark rolling my eyes as he went on and on about the same issues with the same coworkers every single night. Even nights when he didn’t work would end up this way.

Now we have a rule of “if this is really something that you want to talk about right this moment, we’ll go sit on the sofa and talk.” It gives you a moment to just consider if it’s really that big of an issue or not. What he’s found is that usually it’s not worth it, and I’ve seen a positive change in him. He seems happier now that he’s not dwelling on small stuff.

50. Surprise her sometimes by remembering something you shared and calling back to it.